As a surviving partner, the need to suddenly handle complex financial matters while in the midst of grief can feel overwhelming. Understanding your family’s financial landscape beforehand, knowing where bank and investment accounts are held, and having key contacts readily available can help you maintain stability rather than lapsing into chaos.
Here are some pointers to help you prepare:
Stay mentally involved
In many South African households, it’s common for one partner to take charge of finances – managing bank accounts, insurance, investments, and taxes – while the other focuses on career, or family and home. This setup often works well, but the obvious pitfall is that if the “financial partner” is suddenly no longer present and/or capable, there is no backup.
To avoid this ‘no backup’ situation, it is crucial for both partners to have a good grasp of their financial affairs. Familiarise yourself with your family investments and know how to access copies of essential documents such as identity documents, insurance policies, and tax records.
Keep everything current
Ensure your joint estate planning is kept up to date. An outdated estate plan can delay access to funds, leaving surviving loved ones without resources when you need them most.
A valid will is essential, and beneficiary nominations on policies and investments should reflect your current wishes. Maintain a “life file” – a secure folder (digital or physical) – with all vital information: bank details, policy numbers, passwords or hints to passwords to be safer, and contact numbers for your financial adviser, executor, and attorney.
Don’t overlook your digital estate, including email, social media, and cloud storage accounts. These accounts can become inaccessible without proper planning, causing stress even if their contents are of sentimental rather than strategic value.
Finally, build relationships with your professional team. If your partner has been the main contact for your financial adviser so far, prioritise attending joint meetings in future so that you are personally familiar with your advisers. Knowing who to call in a crisis ensures you have trusted support when you need it most.
When the inevitable happens
Losing a life partner is emotionally devastating; on a practical level, it’s also when you’re most vulnerable to financial missteps. Awareness during this period can protect your family’s financial security.
- Be aware that you are vulnerable and can be an easy target for fraudsters or scams. Exercise caution with new acquaintances and apply extra safety measures when making important and large payments.
- Avoid major financial decisions during this time. Research shows that grief does cloud rational thinking, leading to impulsive and short-term choices. Wait at least twelve months before making big moves like selling property or changing investments. Focus on immediate needs, maintain liquidity, and keep your portfolio steady until you’re thinking clearly.
- Lean on your professional and family support network. They are vital during tough times. A skilled financial adviser can manage estate processes, coordinate with insurers, and ensure nothing is overlooked. Close family or friends can offer a second opinion, helping you avoid making rushed decisions.
- Emotional wellbeing matters too. Traditional counselling works for some, but others may prefer a different approach. Talk to friends and family or engage a life coach to reframe your future when you feel ready.
- Don’t suppress the grief that comes with losing your life partner. Some people cope by diving into work or administrative tasks, which can delay healing. Recognise this pattern and pace yourself in a way that lets you balance emotional and financial recovery.
Observations from our experience at Netto Invest
We’ve noticed that clients who navigate bereavement more smoothly have some characteristics in common, namely:
- They have a trusted relationship with a financial adviser who has their best interest at heart and can help them navigate this difficult time.
- Their insurance and estate plans are current and aligned with their needs.
- They know who to contact and can trust that matters can be handled efficiently and competently.
- They delay major financial decisions until emotions stabilise.
- They surround themselves with reliable professionals and personal support.
Preparation and relationships are as critical as investment choices when life takes a stressful turn.
A final thought
Perhaps we all hope that we will “go first” and thus be spared the pain of losing our life partner, but unfortunately, life offers no such guarantee. Part of caring for our families is ensuring that, no matter what, those who outlive us are protected and prepared.
Taking the necessary steps upfront, staying involved in decision-making, and maintaining a clear understanding of your financial affairs can make all the difference. Doing so brings lasting peace of mind that both you and your loved ones will be adequately equipped to navigate a time of bereavement with confidence.
Michael Maré, CFP® FPSA®
B.Com
Wealth Manager
