Personally, I have found that time spent in the office gives me a greater appreciation for time at home and vice versa. It is good to have a break from parenting and engage in a completely different way while at work. And at the same time, I am energised and excited to plan fun weekend outings to make the most of family time.
Family circumstances differ widely, but here are some tips that may help if you’re still figuring out your balance as a working mother:
Plan ahead
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Before returning to work, make sure you feel comfortable and happy with your decision on childcare. Take time with the decision and consider various options. You can only focus on work with peace of mind when you are certain your little one is well looked after in your absence.
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If you are still breastfeeding exclusively, the return to work has specific challenges. Have a conversation with your employer to make suitable arrangements, either to work partly from home or to have a private space where you can express milk for the next day.
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Communicate with your partner and share the weekly responsibilities equally so that you both have sufficient family and work time. That includes grocery shopping and dinner prep!
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Make use of easy online grocery shopping and delivery options which are now available for most of our major grocery stores.
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Changes to your routines are inevitable, so start communication early so that your manager and team know what you need and how you will continue to perform to your usual professional standard alongside new life responsibilities.
Time is precious
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While at work, focus on being present and productive.
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While at home, limit being on your phone while together so that you are fully present. Quality and quantity of time are both important – sitting around the table for breakfast and dinner counts as quality time and sharing in bath and bedtime routines can make great memories.
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Between work and children, your relationship with your partner may feel like it has been bumped down the priority list. Actively diarise opportunities to spend time as a couple and stay connected. A dedicated ‘date night’ each week, no matter how low-key, can work wonders to ensure you continue to engage meaningfully.
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You can’t pour from an empty cup, so diarise regular time for yourself. Whether this involves sport, a hobby or simply time to read for pleasure, time out from family responsibilities and relationships is vital. You and your partner can schedule times when one is looking after the kids while the other enjoys some “me-time”.
Our modern world is fast-paced and complicated, yet at the same time, the challenges around successfully combining career and motherhood are actively discussed more than ever before, both at home and in South African workplaces.
Whatever shape or form your family takes, there’s every reason for parents, and mothers, in particular, to pursue their career goals without feeling that they do so to the detriment of their family.
By Lindsay Frost, CFP® CA(SA)
